He Said She Said: A Guy & Girl's Review of 'The Avengers: IMAX 3D'

"We're not a team.  We're a time bomb."  Those words encapsulate the driving force behind 'The Avengers'.  It is a destructive spectacle unlike any other, and at the same time an interesting character study on what happens when enormous egos are put in the same room.  Think 'Transformers' with a brain.
 
'The Avengers' follows the converging story lines of Tony Stark/Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Steve Rogers/Captain America (Chris Evans), Bruce Banner/Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), and Thor (Chris Hemsworth), as they are brought together by S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) to combat a force unlike anything the Earth has ever seen.  The army of other-worldlies is led by Loki (Tom Hiddleston), Thor's exiled brother, who wants to gain control of an unbridled energy source called the Tesseract (which was also the MacGuffin in 'Captain America') and inenvitably rule the world.  The Avengers is rounded out by the best the Earth has to offer: the world's greatest spy, Black Widow (Scarlett Johannson), and the world's greatest archer, Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner).  But assembling superhumans who have each saved the world once before (in their own movie) proves to be a flammable situation.  Can this ragtag team band together in time to defeat Loki and save the fate of the world?



In short, 'The Avengers' is the best comic book movie since 'The Dark Knight'.  However, not everyone may like this movie.  Namely, my girlfriend.

She: I hated it.

He: I saw you rolling your eyes under those 3D glasses.  What could you have possibly not liked about this movie??

She: It was two and a half hours of aliens and creatures.

He: See, that sounds awesome to me.  And you've seen the other Marvel movies before... you didn't expect that from a comic book movie?



She: No.  I liked 'Iron Man'.  I liked 'The Incredible Hulk' too.  I don't mind superhero movies, as long as they're grounded in reality.  On this planet.  Although I thought 'Captain America' was cheesy, I liked it a lot better than 'Thor'.  If I would have known that the villian in this movie was Thor's brother, I would have lowered my expectations.

He: I actually liked Loki as the villian in this one.  He's much more formidable a foe than he was in 'Thor'.  Tom Hiddleston made Loki more menacing, crazed, and almost downright disturbing in 'The Avengers'.  His gaze approaches Hannibal Lector levels in certain scenes.



She: I will say this: 'The Avengers' was a lot scarier than I expected for a PG-13 movie.  People brought their little kids to this!

He: Good point.  Even the subject matter is decidedly more adult than the previous flicks.  You really feel like the world is at stake in this one.

She: And thankfully you made me watch the other movies, otherwise I would have had no idea what was going on.

He: Well, the storyline of this one isn't that hard to follow...

She: Yes, but the characters had no backstory.  If I hadn't seen 'Captain America', I would be asking "who the hell is this dork running around in the blue suit?"

He: I'm sure you'll catch flack from the fanboys for that one.  I did like how director Joss Whedon didn't waste time with that though... it definitely pays to see the previous movies. They didn't spend much time on Hawkeye and Black Widow either.  They gave them just enough motivation to have skin in the game without weighing down the movie with even more history to keep track of.  Plus, I'll never complain about casting Scarlett Johannson...



She: And even though I hate the story of Thor, he's not hard to look at...

He: So can we agree that 'The Avengers' is at least worth the price of admission?

She: If you know what you're in for, sure.  And the only way to see it is in IMAX 3D.

He: Couldn't have said it better myself!

'The Avengers' is now playing in theaters.

He Review: 9.5/10

She Review: 6/10 

Review: "Safe" Takes Absolutely No Risks

In 1998, there was a pretty crappy Bruce Willis actioner by the name of 'Mercury Rising' that followed an exiled FBI agent (Willis) who takes it upon himself to protect a young Autistic boy from numerous nameless assassins after he cracks a highly-secure government code.  'Safe' is the 2012 version of 'Mercury Rising', substituting action and swear words for the barely detectable heart of its predecessor.  What were producers Lawrence Bender, who has produced all of Tarentino's masterpieces, and Kevin Spacey, who has been tied to some of the best movies of my generation, thinking when they agreed to make 'Safe'?!

Jason Statham plays Bruce Willis, I mean Luke Wright, a tormented former NYPD detective and now undercard MMA fighter in New Jersey (what a backstory).  Wright is such a great fighter with obvious skeletons in his closet that he accidentally kills his latest opponent with one punch after taking a self-imposed beating during a fight he was supposed to throw anyway.  His victory has cost a lot of people a lot of money, namely a Russian mob boss who wants his payment.  The boss's son kills Luke's wife and unborn child, but leaves him unscathed to roam New York City's homeless shelters in anguish, urging him to kill himself.  Interestingly enough, you also find out (all through expository dialogue) that his old police friends don't like Luke's return to the Big Apple either.  For whatever reason, they kidnap him, beat him up, and again, urge Wright to commit suicide.





Meanwhile, a young, smart Chinese girl who is a wiz with numbers is kidnapped by the Chinese gang in NYC to run finances for several of the businesses the gang owns.  You find out that all of her business efforts were simply a test to evaluate her memory, as she is then tasked with remembering an extremely long and evidently important number for the head of the gang.  On her way to deliver the number to whoever, the Russian gang intercepts the motorcade, all hell breaks loose, and the girl escapes.  She crosses paths with Statham's character in the subway, literally on the edge, as he contemplates stepping in front of the next train.  He senses her danger, perceives her as his reason to live, and goes on a killing spree to thwart the efforts of the Russian gang, Chinese gang, and corrupt cops to capture her.  At no time do you care about this girl; she simply exists as a reason for Statham to kick ass.

The dialogue in 'Safe' is many times cringe-inducing, with characters simply used as plot devices to explain what the hell is happening, and Statham delivers one-liners that harken back to the days of Arnold/Stallone flicks (not in a good way).  The action, while brutal and at times impressive thanks to Statham, is rather pedestrian and often falls victim to the standard gun fight.

For all the nay-saying, there is some cool one-take cinematography during the scenes where the girl is abducted.  In addition, Statham does commit to his part in this movie, which encourages you to see the story through. 

Perhaps I'm being hard on 'Safe'; I just saw no reason for this one to be made.  Sorry Lawrence Bender.  'Safe' opens in theaters today, April 27th.

Acting: 4/10

Direction: 6/10

Writing: 4/10 

Movie: 5/10

Verdict:  Rent it if you're a Statham fan or you haven't seen 'Mercury Rising'

Review: 'The Cabin In The Woods' Is Fresh, Weird, & Cool

It's so hard to write about movies like this without spoiling the plot, which is what makes 'The Cabin In The Woods' such a treat in the first place.  Then again, to say "movies like this" would imply that there are other flicks out there like this one.

I admittedly am not a huge horror fan, so it takes alot for the genre to to peak my interest enough to see something in theaters.  Thinking back, the last horror movie I saw in theaters was 2005's 'The Descent' (which was awesome).  After hearing that 'The Cabin In The Woods' was an original take on the horror movie, I decided to bypass any further details and simply check it out myself.  I was not disappointed.

5 naive college students head to the mountains on Spring Break to get drunk and fool around.  There's a jock (played by a less-Thor-looking Chris Hemsworth), a slut, a nerd, a prude, and a pothead.  They slowly realize that things aren't what they seem... then bad stuff happens.  Sound familiar?  It is... but that's the point.

'The Cabin In The Woods' is both tongue-in-cheek and takes itself seriously; it's something we've all seen before and yet it's wholey original.  Confused?  Good.  Drew Goddard, the director, wouldn't have it any other way.  He expertly deconstructs the stereotypes played upon in every "cabin horror" movie the same way Wes Craven tackled the slasher movie in 'Scream'.  Goddard infuses humor to go along with the scares a la Sam Raimi's 'Evil Dead'.  And those are the two best compliments I can pay to 'The Cabin In The Woods'.

I could dance around the specifics for another 500 words or you could just trust me and see the damn movie.  It's strange, it's funny, it's original, it's cool.  I mean, where else can you watch a dude beat up a zombie with a bong disguised as a travel coffee mug??

Acting: 7/10

Direction: 9/10

Writing: 9/10 

Movie: 7.5/10

Verdict:  SEE IT BEFORE SOMEONE RUINS IT FOR YOU!

'

Review: 'Titanic: An IMAX 3D Experience'

15 years after its initial release in 1997 (has it seriously been that long?!), James Cameron is bringing his ultra-successful blockbuster back to the big screen, with the added novelty of 'Titanic' appearing in 3 dimensions.  The big question is-- is this "limited engagement" even necessary, and does it deserve my hard-earned money to see again in theaters?  The answer is almost as big as the ship itself: YES & YES.

In case you were on Pluto when 'Titanic' came out, the film is the tried-and-true story of star-crossed lovers who overcome all odds to follow their hearts and fight for everlasting love on the ill-fated maiden voyage of the RMS Titanic in 1912.  With dialogue that's, at times, almost as corny as my previous sentence, this mammoth of a movie could have easily collapsed on a trite story line, bloated budget, and ludicrously high expectations.  But like its main characters (and unlike the ship itself), 'Titanic' rises up to absolutely entertain on sheer human emotion and spectacle.

Jack Dawson (Leonardio DiCaprio) is a poor & happy Wisconsin boy who has made his life as a travelling artist, laying his head wherever he ends up at the end of the day.  Rose Dewitt Bukater (Kate Winslet) is the well-to-do fiance' of an elitist oil tycoon named Cal (played brilliantly by Billy Zane).  Jack boards Titanic after winning a ticket during a lucky poker hand; Rose is on her way back to Philadelphia to wed Cal, albeit against her will, in order to retain her family's position as a wealthy name after her father's untimely death.  Jack meets Rose when she half-heartedly attempts suicide in order to gain attention.  Jack talks Rose off the ledge and also provides her a look at what it's like to sieze the day (which women find incredibly sexy... trust me).  The two inevitably fall for each other and fight for their love... both against the stereotypes of their class, as well as the circumstances destiny lays before them.

Is the story original??  Hell no.  It's Romeo & Juliet with a ship.  But most of today's stories originate at least partly from Shakespeare anyway.  Where 'Titanic' succeeds is in its execution, thanks to the sure eye of James Cameron.  The writing, though sometimes eye-roll-inducing, is largely genuine for kids in love.  The cast is phenomenal all around... Leo & Kate have outstanding chemistry, the supporting cast (especially Kathy Bates) make you care about the other lives on the boat, and the 197 minutes seem to fly by.  The sinking of the ship is as grand and terrifying as you could possibly imagine.  The budget, which at the time was the most expensive movie ever made, goes to good use.  Much of the special effects are done live in-camera, and the result makes for a very visceral experience, one that is as unforgettable as the amount of Oscar noms the flick received.

It's been 15 years since the movie came out and spawned so many pop culture memes, it's hard to believe you would have read this review if you hadn't already seen the flick, so let's get into the IMAX and 3D aspects, shall we?

Firstly, I must admit: I'm a huge fan of IMAX (no pun intended), assuming the film is designed to be viewed on a screen that size.  None of that "same movie on a bigger screen" BS... either actual IMAX footage (see 'The Dark Knight' and 'Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol') or a digital conversion to IMAX (see 'The Hunger Games').  The picture and sound is far superior and offers a much more immersive movie-going experience that I truly believe is worth the extra dough. 

So how does 'Titanic' match up?  Perfectly.  James Cameron personally monitored the conversion to IMAX and 3D, and the result is fantastic.  The IMAX makes the movie look and sound better than ever, and the 3D adds immersion without becoming gimmicky (no, Kate Winslet's nipples don't pop out of the screen at you).  While I would say that the 3D isn't absolutely necessary, I've never been so wrapped up in 'Titanic' before, and I've seen this flick at least 7 times by now.

In closing, 'Titanic' is one helluva movie that will appeal to all ages and genders.  The film is deeply rooted in humanity, love, and survival, which speaks to why it was so successful.  The IMAX 3D adds even more emotion and high stakes to the ride, making this movie a can't-miss in theaters.  Highly recommended.

Acting: 8.5/10

Direction: 10/10

Writing: 7/10 

Movie: 9/10

Medium (IMAX 3D): 10/10

Verdict:  MUST SEE!