Tuesday, May 15, 2012
"Is anyone asking how my hand feels after punching that iron-like jaw of that baby?"
Looks like Will Ferrell's mind had a Ricky Bobby/George Bush baby and came up with Cam Brady, while Zack Galifianakis' made up twin Seth got his own movie.
I'll still see it.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
For a red band trailer with 3 of my favorite comedic actors, I was expecting this to be better. And who the hell is the 4th guy? They couldn't get Will Ferrell to fill in?
Interesting fact: This film was originally titled 'Neighborhood Watch', but was renamed after the Trayvon Martin tragedy.
'The Watch' hits theaters on July 27th.
"We're not a team. We're a time bomb." Those words encapsulate the driving force behind 'The Avengers'. It is a destructive spectacle unlike any other, and at the same time an interesting character study on what happens when enormous egos are put in the same room. Think 'Transformers' with a brain.
'The Avengers' follows the converging story lines of Tony Stark/Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Steve Rogers/Captain America (Chris Evans), Bruce Banner/Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), and Thor (Chris Hemsworth), as they are brought together by S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) to combat a force unlike anything the Earth has ever seen. The army of other-worldlies is led by Loki (Tom Hiddleston), Thor's exiled brother, who wants to gain control of an unbridled energy source called the Tesseract (which was also the MacGuffin in 'Captain America') and inenvitably rule the world. The Avengers is rounded out by the best the Earth has to offer: the world's greatest spy, Black Widow (Scarlett Johannson), and the world's greatest archer, Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner). But assembling superhumans who have each saved the world once before (in their own movie) proves to be a flammable situation. Can this ragtag team band together in time to defeat Loki and save the fate of the world?
In short, 'The Avengers' is the best comic book movie since 'The Dark Knight'. However, not everyone may like this movie. Namely, my girlfriend.
She: I hated it.
He: I saw you rolling your eyes under those 3D glasses. What could you have possibly not liked about this movie??
She: It was two and a half hours of aliens and creatures.
He: See, that sounds awesome to me. And you've seen the other Marvel movies before... you didn't expect that from a comic book movie?
She: No. I liked 'Iron Man'. I liked 'The Incredible Hulk' too. I don't mind superhero movies, as long as they're grounded in reality. On this planet. Although I thought 'Captain America' was cheesy, I liked it a lot better than 'Thor'. If I would have known that the villian in this movie was Thor's brother, I would have lowered my expectations.
He: I actually liked Loki as the villian in this one. He's much more formidable a foe than he was in 'Thor'. Tom Hiddleston made Loki more menacing, crazed, and almost downright disturbing in 'The Avengers'. His gaze approaches Hannibal Lector levels in certain scenes.
She: I will say this: 'The Avengers' was a lot scarier than I expected for a PG-13 movie. People brought their little kids to this!
He: Good point. Even the subject matter is decidedly more adult than the previous flicks. You really feel like the world is at stake in this one.
She: And thankfully you made me watch the other movies, otherwise I would have had no idea what was going on.
He: Well, the storyline of this one isn't that hard to follow...
She: Yes, but the characters had no backstory. If I hadn't seen 'Captain America', I would be asking "who the hell is this dork running around in the blue suit?"
He: I'm sure you'll catch flack from the fanboys for that one. I did like how director Joss Whedon didn't waste time with that though... it definitely pays to see the previous movies. They didn't spend much time on Hawkeye and Black Widow either. They gave them just enough motivation to have skin in the game without weighing down the movie with even more history to keep track of. Plus, I'll never complain about casting Scarlett Johannson...
She: And even though I hate the story of Thor, he's not hard to look at...
He: So can we agree that 'The Avengers' is at least worth the price of admission?
She: If you know what you're in for, sure. And the only way to see it is in IMAX 3D.
He: Couldn't have said it better myself!
'The Avengers' is now playing in theaters.
He Review: 9.5/10
She Review: 6/10
Friday, May 4, 2012
Live Blog Review: 'The Avengers' Prologue Flicks ('Iron Man', 'The Incredible Hulk', 'Iron Man 2', 'Thor', 'Captain America: The First Avenger')
With the inevitable success of Marvel's new blockbuster, 'The Avengers', releasing today, it's only right that we should revisit the movies leading up to it. I thought it would be fun to live-blog/tweet my thoughts while re-watching the flicks to refresh your memory as to why we loved (or hated) these movies.
'IRON MAN' (2008)
- The opening scene is the best superhero movie intro this side of "The Dark Knight"
- I used to have the cell phone Stark uses in this movie... dude's a genius billionaire and he hasn't designed his own phone yet? #weak
- Jeff Bridges is an absolutely perfect comic book villian. And bald guy.
- Downey replaces Vince Vaughn with the off-the-cuff style of Favreau. Similiar, sure, but welcome? Definitely.
- Lighten up Terrance Howard, this is a comic book movie.
- "The best weapon is the one you never have to fire, I respectfully disagree. I prefer the one you don't have to fire twice". Sick line.
- Downey as Stark > Downey as Iron Man
- Of course, the terrorists are from the Middle East!
- S.H.I.E.L.D. - Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division... "Quite a mouthful" is right
- Wait... Jeff Bridges is working with terrorists... The Dude does not abide!
- Nevermind... he wants to rule the world himself. USA! USA!
- Jeff Bridges beard >>> my beard
- Tony, you look like shit... what happened, did someone rip your heart out? Oh yeah...
- "Next Time baby"... no, Terrance. There will be no next time for you.
- How did Jeff Bridges just jump into a suit he's never used before and become an expert? And I guess it comes with voice modulation and loud speakers??
- Wait a second... how did Tony, or Pepper, or the building survive that explosion?!?! Oh yeah... this movie has flying people in it.
- "I AM IRON MAN." And just like that, Robert Downey Jr. went from actor in rehab to multi-millionaire. Damn it I want to be rich!
'THE INCREDIBLE HULK' (2008)
- The abridged backstory for this flick is nice; I hope 'The Amazing Spider Man' does the same. If you're rebooting your movie a few years after the original, you shouldn't be spending the first act on exposition.
- Edward Norton's hair color changes just as much as his skin color in this movie
- If some Brazilian fountain drink company put radioactive blood in my soda, I would be a millionaire AND a hulk. Then Tony Stark & Bruce Banner would have to have an Iron Man Hulk baby to stop me.
- Maybe if Banner wasn't spending his factory worker salary on all this lab equipment, he could afford a better apartment.
- I wonder if William Hurt had to grow his eyebrows out for this role.
- Tim Roth just shot that dog!!! I bet he's a bad guy...
- Is Edward Norton's hair black, brown, or dark blonde? It's literally changing from shot to shot.
- Ju Jitsu is cool for self defense, but Bruce should have learned Muay Thai. Can you imagine a Hulk Elbow/Knee Smash?!
- I used to speak Spanish semi-fluently, and I can't understand a word these Brazilian guys are saying. It's almost as if Portuguese is a different language or something...
- Gamma Rays must make your skin elastic as hell. The Hulk is like 15x the size of a normal human and when he returns to Bruce, he doesn't have stretch marks or anything. #whatsyoursecretHulk
- How do you kill The Hulk if bullets bounce off his skin? #Hulk>>Superman
- Sweatpants with the elastic band. #HanesIsTheHulksSecret
- I'm sorry, but everytime I see Liv Tyler, I think of three things: "Armageddon", animal crackers, and Steven Tyler singing "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing"
- Whoa, that pizza shop owner has bigger catepillars eyebrows than William Hurt! #theyrecalledtweezers
- Lou Ferrigno cameo. Priceless.
- Wait, the dude from Judd Apatow's movies makes a cameo in this as well?
- PHIL FROM MODERN FAMILY MAKES A CAMEO?! #AYKM
- Why does The Hulk's shirt always rip off but his pants stay on?
- Sound weapons are so cool. So are car door shields.
- College Campus Action Sequence>Forrest Action Sequence>>Final Showdown Action Sequence
- You can still win the girl, Phil. The Hulk isn't funny and charming. He is actually kind of a dick.
- HAHA he doesn't like the purple pants. Lou Ferrigno must be offended. #fanboyjoke
- Bruce Banner can't have sex cause he gets too excited? I don't want to be the hulk anymore.
- Tim Blake Nelson. Great Supporting Character Actor.
- "Why are you always hitting people?" Great Question, Tim Blake Nelson.
- Wait... The Abomination is a Stegasaurus?
- Bruce Banner must have just watched 'Mission Impossible: ' before jumping out of that helicopter. #Regrettabledecision
- Comic book movie or not, there's no way Bruce would have survived slamming into the concrete pre-Hulk.
- Car door shields<<<Police car boxing gloves
- How come The Abomination knows how to speak perfect English but The Hulk can barely put a sentence together?
- Elbow bone spurs should be banned from future superhero/supervillian fights. #unfairadvantage
- Thank God The Hulk never attended an Avicii concert. One clap and everyone would die.
- Robert Downey Jr. must have been seriously hungover for that after-credits scene. Either that or his makeup lady was.
'IRON MAN 2' (2010)
- Was Mickey Rourke's mustache painted on for this movie?
- Of course every supervillian has to have a weird, interesting pet. For 'Iron Man 2'? A parrot.
- Looks like Jon Favreau decided to give himself a lot more screen time in this flick. Happy Hogan has had more lines in the first 25 minutes than the entire first film.
- The mantra of this film is MORE. More Downey quips, more improv, more action. Not sure if that's necessarily a good thing, but at least we're getting our money's worth.
- Guaranteed that Mickey Rourke is as scary in real life as he is in this movie.
- Sam Rockwell needs to ease up on the fake tanner, holy moley.
- I forgot DJ AM made an appearance in this movie. RIP.
- Drunk Iron Man is not a role model, kids.
- Fighting your best friend with titanium suits on, destroying everything in sight. #IWantOne
- Why doesn't Tony Stark like people handing him things? I don't get it.
- BOOM. Tony Stark just rendered the periodic table obsolete. Take that, high school chemistry teacher!
- So 'Jarvis', Tony's self-aware AI assistant, is not more impressive and dangerous than the Iron Man suit? Haven't these guys seen the 'Terminator' movies??
- Black Widow changing for fight sequence>>>> Black Widow fight sequence >>>> Iron Man fighting Mickey Rourke, who's sitting at a computer
- "Drop your socks & grab your Crocs..." Wow. *DEAD*.
- Seeing The Northern Lights... on the bucket list. Either that, or I can wait for Thor to come to Earth.
- Ever since 'The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo', I will never be able to trust Stellan Skarsgard again.
- Asgard looks like The Emerald City. 'The Wizard of Oz' was so ahead of its time. How do they make Anthony Hopkins look so young? They must have used the same youth technology on Rene Russo.
- Why do the gods in this movie all have British accents? That's right... Kenneth Brannaugh directed it.
- If Thor's hammer was forged in the heart of a dying star and its power has no equal, how can Captain America's shield block it? #ImJustSayin #findingloopholes
- I wish Idris Elba had more to do in this movie... like push drugs or solve murder cases.
- Chris Hemsworth plays 'arrogant' almost as good as Robert Downey Jr.
- Whoa... the last half hour was a prologue to the beginning of the movie? What is this, 'Pulp Fiction'?
- Is it just me, or does this drone machine monster seem rather unimpressive?
- Loki better become more dangerous in 'The Avengers', cause right now he's coming off as a whiny younger brother, if a whiny younger brother had the ability to travel to different realms of the universe.
'CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER' (2011)
- Howard Stark technology<<<Benjamin Button face transplant technology
- I could watch Tommy Lee Jones read from a dictionary and be riveted.
- "Wars are fought with weapons, but they are won by men." Best line in the whole movie, and it was lifted from General Patton
- This movie is about the little guys, who become the big guys, who become famous, who go overseas and punch a bunch of people to end world war. It's uber-realistic.
- I wonder how many pushups Chris Evans did before filming the transformation scene. My guess is a billion.
- Two fists high for Hail Hydra? It must be twice as evil as the Nazis...
- "Each bond you buy is a bullet in the barrel of the best guy's gun" Great alliteration, US Government Marketing Dept.
- It's a wonder I can understand what anyone in this movie is saying when all their lines are delivered with their tongues in their cheek.
- It's obvious that Captain America should be disqualified from the Olympics for long jumping. Dude's got hops.
- How many faceless henchmen must die before we realize that Captain America must be stopped?
- Zero gravity fight in 'Captain America' <<<<<<<< zero-gravity fight in 'Inception'
- Hugo Weaving makes a formidable villian. Plus his German accent is spot-on. I still want him to break into a cartoony Austrian Ahhnold impersonation though.
- How was Red Skull killed?? Did the ghosts from 'Raiders of The Lost Ark' consume him??
- Ending was a bit trite... Captain America not only survived the crash, but was successfully frozen for almost 70 years? #CopOutEnding
Enjoy the flick and look out for Film Authority's review of 'The Avengers' in IMAX 3D, posting this weekend!
At this point, who hasn't seen a TV Spot, Trailer, or Poster somewhere for Marvel's biggest bet, 'The Avengers'?! Exactly. So to kick off Film Authority's 'Avengers' themed Day-O-Coverage, let's flip the marketing on it's ear and take a look at the B-side of 'The Avengers' from some creative minds, shall we?
Without further adieu, Posters Re-Imagined: 'The Avengers' Edition.
Next Film's rendition of what 'The Avengers' would look like as an independent film:
|Has a very 'Little Miss Sunshine' feel to it...|
Selected prints from the Assemble exhibit that Gallery 1988 is holding in Los Angeles right now...
|Too much testosterone to include Bruce Banner?? It looks like Thor wants a piece of Black Widow...|
|Clean, simple. I like it.|
|AWESOME. POSTER. This is from Scott Campbell, and it is going up on my fridge kiddo!|
Finally, my favorite prints come from Mondo, a collectible arthouse boutique in Austin TX. We'll start by supporting the two least cared-about characters on the team:
|Still not sure what the world's best archer has to offer a team with a Hulk, but I guess we'll see...|
|From Russia With Guns... And awesome boobs. I would totally see this movie.|
|It looks like Chris Hemsworth was lumberjacking in his free time and they superimposed his head on a drawing... in a good way.|
|I actually like this poster more than anything I saw for the 'Captain America: The First Avenger' movie. They really should enlist artists to create posters for summer blockbusters.|
|Is that an alien in the background?? Damn you, Ridley Scott!! Stay in your own movie!!|
|Cool... I still prefer Black Widow's poster...|
'The Avengers' is in theaters and IMAX 3D today!!! Get your tickets!!!
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Ok... so I'm bending the rules a bit here. 'Call of Duty: Black Ops 2' is not a movie perse', though some would argue that its cinematic experience is every bit as exhilerating as any Hollywood blockbuster.
'Black Ops 2' starts in the 80s and follows through to 2025, where the US is on the brink of World War with China over precious metals. The story comes from the creative mind of David Goyer, who developed the stories behind films like 'Batman Begins', 'The Dark Knight', and the forcoming Superman flick, 'Man of Steel'. Game developer also enlisted Peter Singer of the Brookings Institution to keep the technology and warfare seen in the game grounded in reason for a realistic picture of the future. I am actually rather frightened by this trailer; it harkens back to the days when I saw the grim view of Judgment Day during 'Terminator 2'... there's a fine line between realistic entertainment spectacle and genuine fear of what's ahead...
In any case, I'm not much of a gamer anymore, but it's hard to deny the entertainment sensation that is the Call of Duty franchise. 'Black Ops 2" hits shelves on November 13, 2012.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Now this is what I BEEN sayin'.
This new trailer, which I believe is going to be playing before 'The Avengers' IMAX this weekend, amps up the hype machine for summer's (and perhaps the year's) most anticipated film.
Some footage from the breathtaking prologue is used, some shots from previous trailers as well, but this is a lot of new dialogue, some more action set pieces, and gives us a tease of what we're in for come July 20th.
AND We can now understand what the hell Bane is talking about, which is good. Call me crazy, but is anyone a bit sad that Batman is a broken man in this one??
My level of excitement for this flick is as high as it can possibly get. How about you?