Friday, May 4, 2012

Live Blog Review: 'The Avengers' Prologue Flicks ('Iron Man', 'The Incredible Hulk', 'Iron Man 2', 'Thor', 'Captain America: The First Avenger')

With the inevitable success of Marvel's new blockbuster, 'The Avengers', releasing today, it's only right that we should revisit the movies leading up to it.  I thought it would be fun to live-blog/tweet my thoughts while re-watching the flicks to refresh your memory as to why we loved (or hated) these movies.


'IRON MAN' (2008)
  • The opening scene is the best superhero movie intro this side of "The Dark Knight"
  • I used to have the cell phone Stark uses in this movie... dude's a genius billionaire and he hasn't designed his own phone yet? #weak
  • Jeff Bridges is an absolutely perfect comic book villian.  And bald guy.
  • Downey replaces Vince Vaughn with the off-the-cuff style of Favreau.  Similiar, sure, but welcome? Definitely.
  • Lighten up Terrance Howard, this is a comic book movie.
  • "The best weapon is the one you never have to fire, I respectfully disagree.  I prefer the one you don't have to fire twice".  Sick line.
  • Downey as Stark > Downey as Iron Man
  • Of course, the terrorists are from the Middle East!
  • S.H.I.E.L.D. - Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division... "Quite a mouthful" is right
  • Wait... Jeff Bridges is working with terrorists... The Dude does not abide!
  • Nevermind... he wants to rule the world himself.  USA!  USA!
  • Jeff Bridges beard >>> my beard
  • Tony, you look like shit... what happened, did someone rip your heart out?  Oh yeah...
  • "Next Time baby"... no, Terrance.  There will be no next time for you.
  • How did Jeff Bridges just jump into a suit he's never used before and become an expert?  And I guess it comes with voice modulation and loud speakers??
  • Wait a second... how did Tony, or Pepper, or the building survive that explosion?!?!  Oh yeah... this movie has flying people in it. 
  • "I AM IRON MAN."  And just like that, Robert Downey Jr. went from actor in rehab to multi-millionaire.  Damn it I want to be rich!

  • The abridged backstory for this flick is nice; I hope 'The Amazing Spider Man' does the same.  If you're rebooting your movie a few years after the original, you shouldn't be spending the first act on exposition.
  • Edward Norton's hair color changes just as much as his skin color in this movie
  • If some Brazilian fountain drink company put radioactive blood in my soda, I would be a millionaire AND a hulk.  Then Tony Stark & Bruce Banner would have to have an Iron Man Hulk baby to stop me.
  • Maybe if Banner wasn't spending his factory worker salary on all this lab equipment, he could afford a better apartment.
  • I wonder if William Hurt had to grow his eyebrows out for this role.
  • Tim Roth just shot that dog!!!  I bet he's a bad guy...
  • Is Edward Norton's hair black, brown, or dark blonde?  It's literally changing from shot to shot.
  • Ju Jitsu is cool for self defense, but Bruce should have learned Muay Thai.  Can you imagine a Hulk Elbow/Knee Smash?!
  • I used to speak Spanish semi-fluently, and I can't understand a word these Brazilian guys are saying.  It's almost as if Portuguese is a different language or something...
  • Gamma Rays must make your skin elastic as hell.  The Hulk is like 15x the size of a normal human and when he returns to Bruce, he doesn't have stretch marks or anything. #whatsyoursecretHulk
  • How do you kill The Hulk if bullets bounce off his skin?  #Hulk>>Superman
  • Sweatpants with the elastic band.  #HanesIsTheHulksSecret
  • I'm sorry, but everytime I see Liv Tyler, I think of three things: "Armageddon", animal crackers, and Steven Tyler singing "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing"
  • Whoa, that pizza shop owner has bigger catepillars eyebrows than William Hurt!  #theyrecalledtweezers
  • Lou Ferrigno cameo.  Priceless.
  • Wait, the dude from Judd Apatow's movies makes a cameo in this as well?
  • Why does The Hulk's shirt always rip off but his pants stay on?
  • Sound weapons are so cool.  So are car door shields.
  • College Campus Action Sequence>Forrest Action Sequence>>Final Showdown Action Sequence
  • You can still win the girl, Phil.  The Hulk isn't funny and charming.  He is actually kind of a dick.
  • HAHA he doesn't like the purple pants.  Lou Ferrigno must be offended. #fanboyjoke
  • Bruce Banner can't have sex cause he gets too excited?  I don't want to be the hulk anymore.
  • Tim Blake Nelson.  Great Supporting Character Actor.
  • "Why are you always hitting people?" Great Question, Tim Blake Nelson.
  • Wait... The Abomination is a Stegasaurus?
  • Bruce Banner must have just watched 'Mission Impossible: ' before jumping out of that helicopter.  #Regrettabledecision
  • Comic book movie or not, there's no way Bruce would have survived slamming into the concrete pre-Hulk.
  • Car door shields<<<Police car boxing gloves
  • How come The Abomination knows how to speak perfect English but The Hulk can barely put a sentence together?
  • Elbow bone spurs should be banned from future superhero/supervillian fights.  #unfairadvantage
  • Thank God The Hulk never attended an Avicii concert.  One clap and everyone would die.
  • Robert Downey Jr. must have been seriously hungover for that after-credits scene.  Either that or his makeup lady was.

'IRON MAN 2' (2010)

  • Was Mickey Rourke's mustache painted on for this movie?
  • Of course every supervillian has to have a weird, interesting pet.  For 'Iron Man 2'?  A parrot.
  • Looks like Jon Favreau decided to give himself a lot more screen time in this flick.  Happy Hogan has had more lines in the first 25 minutes than the entire first film.
  • The mantra of this film is MORE.  More Downey quips, more improv, more action.  Not sure if that's necessarily a good thing, but at least we're getting our money's worth.
  • Guaranteed that Mickey Rourke is as scary in real life as he is in this movie.
  • Sam Rockwell needs to ease up on the fake tanner, holy moley.
  • I forgot DJ AM made an appearance in this movie.  RIP.
  • Drunk Iron Man is not a role model, kids.
  • Fighting your best friend with titanium suits on, destroying everything in sight.  #IWantOne
  • Why doesn't Tony Stark like people handing him things?  I don't get it.
  • BOOM.  Tony Stark just rendered the periodic table obsolete.  Take that, high school chemistry teacher!
  • So 'Jarvis', Tony's self-aware AI assistant, is not more impressive and dangerous than the Iron Man suit?  Haven't these guys seen the 'Terminator' movies??
  • Black Widow changing for fight sequence>>>> Black Widow fight sequence >>>> Iron Man fighting Mickey Rourke, who's sitting at a computer
  • "Drop your socks & grab your Crocs..." Wow.  *DEAD*.

'THOR' (2011)

  • Seeing The Northern Lights... on the bucket list.  Either that, or I can wait for Thor to come to Earth.
  • Ever since 'The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo', I will never be able to trust Stellan Skarsgard again.
  • Asgard looks like The Emerald City.  'The Wizard of Oz' was so ahead of its time. 
    How do they make Anthony Hopkins look so young?  They must have used the same youth technology on Rene Russo.
  • Why do the gods in this movie all have British accents? That's right... Kenneth Brannaugh directed it.
  • If Thor's hammer was forged in the heart of a dying star and its power has no equal, how can Captain America's shield block it?  #ImJustSayin #findingloopholes
  • I wish Idris Elba had more to do in this movie... like push drugs or solve murder cases.
  • Chris Hemsworth plays 'arrogant' almost as good as Robert Downey Jr.
  • Whoa... the last half hour was a prologue to the beginning of the movie?  What is this, 'Pulp Fiction'?
  • Is it just me, or does this drone machine monster seem rather unimpressive?
  • Loki better become more dangerous in 'The Avengers', cause right now he's coming off as a whiny younger brother, if a whiny younger brother had the ability to travel to different realms of the universe.


  • Howard Stark technology<<<Benjamin Button face transplant technology
  • I could watch Tommy Lee Jones read from a dictionary and be riveted.
  • "Wars are fought with weapons, but they are won by men."  Best line in the whole movie, and it was lifted from General Patton
  • This movie is about the little guys, who become the big guys, who become famous, who go overseas and punch a bunch of people to end world war.  It's uber-realistic.
  • I wonder how many pushups Chris Evans did before filming the transformation scene. My guess is a billion.
  • Two fists high for Hail Hydra?  It must be twice as evil as the Nazis...
  • "Each bond you buy is a bullet in the barrel of the best guy's gun" Great alliteration, US Government Marketing Dept.
  • It's a wonder I can understand what anyone in this movie is saying when all their lines are delivered with their tongues in their cheek.
  • It's obvious that Captain America should be disqualified from the Olympics for long jumping.  Dude's got hops.
  • How many faceless henchmen must die before we realize that Captain America must be stopped?
  • Zero gravity fight in 'Captain America' <<<<<<<< zero-gravity fight in 'Inception' 
  • Hugo Weaving makes a formidable villian.  Plus his German accent is spot-on.  I still want him to break into a cartoony Austrian Ahhnold impersonation though. 
  • How was Red Skull killed??  Did the ghosts from 'Raiders of The Lost Ark' consume him??
  • Ending was a bit trite... Captain America not only survived the crash, but was successfully frozen for almost 70 years? #CopOutEnding

Enjoy the flick and look out for Film Authority's review of 'The Avengers' in IMAX 3D, posting this weekend!

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